5 Love Languages

 This month my husband and I celebrate 5 years of marriage. Time flies! Things are even better now than they were when we were first married. I just had a flash-back to our first weeks of being married, reading through the 5 love languages book. We'd read a chapter once a week and learn about how we could better love each other. While I don't agree with everything they say, nor recommend it hands-down against other marriage/love books, I did appreciate that it gave us a means to discuss our marriage.
 The flash-back was fun and I learned something about marriage. Needs can change over time. It's important to keep communicating them your marriage. After taking the test again, I laughed about the happenings of our life and how they've influenced my love-language. I'm sure they'll continue to change over time. I'm grateful we make time to talk about our marriage and how we can improve. I'm grateful we take time to plan loving each other.
 If you are interested in the 5 love languages or if you haven't taken the test in awhile, venture over there for a date night sometime with your spouse! It can give you a fun laugh and provide a way for you to communicate your needs. Just a small, but important step on the road of "happily ever after".

Pairing Down the Projects!

 Ever since I was called to lead the Young Women (Girl's age 12-18) Organization in our church, I have been feeling pretty unbalanced. I feel like I'm always juggling and while some things are going well, others seem to fade further and further into extinction. I suppose that's why God called me to do this, so I could really focus my energies on the work that really matters & a few basic tools I can use to accomplish them. What are they?
The Work.
 1. God. My personal relationship with Him. Time spent in the temple. Time to ponder. Time to study. Time to pray - to really pray. Without interruptions... 
 2. Family. Namely education with and playing with my children. These are the times I feel eternity most. When we play in the boy's room, which has no clock on the wall, I lose track of time and just enjoy reading to them, playing, & creating. It also means that I am self-disciplined creating a structure for our home, which I still haven't grasped since our youngest was born. It means that the family time is planned and meaningful. It means regular time to strengthen my marriage. This has grown to take so much more effort since #2 came along and my husband started school again.
 3. Church & Friendships. The growth of others. The real, sincere service that helps others draw closer to Christ. It means having to live more by the Spirit, being directed to know what to do and when to do it. I feel so dependent on the Lord in working with the Young Women. They truly are His daughters and He has a plan for them. I just have to be humble and still enough to know the plan so I can help.
 Tools to help me accomplish these works:
 1. Health. Providing healthy meals my family can gather around. It's so much easier to prevent illness and have energy to do the work of the Lord when you eat healthy. It is a PROJECT - phew! But either you put the work in to stay healthy or it catches up to you when you get sick.
 2. Family History. A close second for me to family is preserving my family history. I love to learn about my ancestors and teach my children about their family. I love to record what is going on in our family (which I do mostly at www.asmithfam.blogspot.com). It's important to me that we enjoy and capture the moments that are so precious in helping us grow together to become like Jesus Christ. 
 3. Music. To me it really means God, and family, and church. I realized the other day singing a beautiful song about Christ that music is how I gained my testimony. It's how my mother shared her testimony with me. It unified our family. I've pushed it aside for other projects, but dusted it off and started using this tool again to help me accomplish all of the above. The nice thing is, while I'm still working to improve, it's a skill I'm already proficient in. It's a polished tool I can use, not one I'm trying to acquire.

These are the "projects". They hardly seemed like projects if you asked me even a year ago. But when I was faced with entirely too many things to do, constant piles of unfinished business in my tiny house, and unhappy children, I had to focus and figure out what is most important for me. It means I'm cutting out things I REALLY love doing or I'd like to learn. I know there will come another time in life to pull those other things out. I realized I just have to be me. I have to do what I can and simplify. For me for now, it's back to the basics.

It's Conference Time!

 I love General Conference! It's a great time to feel renewed and received personal revelation as we listen to prophets and apostles! We have felt around the last couple of conferences, trying to create an atmosphere that would help us get the most out of these 5 sessions of conference.
 This year, I've been feeling around more for ideas and traditions that help children get more out of conference. I've started a "notebook" of sites and ideas I found helpful in my search.

What do we do to create a reverent atmosphere?
 1. Dress your best. We stay at home most of conference, but we still dress up. Doing so helps our children (and us) recognize that it is still a sacred and special occasion (though I wear my most comfortable church dress and don't put shoes on)
 2. We clean the house. Then I'm not worried about it through conference.
 3. Set the stage. We set up Austin's big computer monitor from work in the living room, and rearrange the furniture so it's most comfortable for watching a long period of time.
 4. Keep meals simple. We try to have a good size breakfast and then snack or simple meals through the day.
 5. Take naps! I still let the kids take their regular nap times, a luxury we don't get on regular Sunday's for church. However, with the whole weekend adding to 8 total hours of church for them, I don't feel we can afford to let them not nap for two days. They seem much happier and get more out of the experience.
 6. In the past, we've let Cadence play, as long as he's in the conference room, and we make sure he's sitting for prayers, sings the songs with us, and stops to listen to the prophets speak. Now that he's 2 1/2, we're ready to move to more of the ideas below (though I haven't quite chosen what we'll do).

More ideas on preparing children for conference check out these links:


1. Oopsey Daisy (Ideas for Tots)
2. Family Home Evening Planner (Ideas for Toddlers and Preschoolers)
3. Deseret Book (Free Conference Packet Download)
4. Mormon Momma (a TON of Ideas)
5. SugarDoodle (another link list to a TON of ideas)
  - My Favorite - Conference Baggies
6. Official Church Website (Ideas from the April 2009 Ensign)
7. Prepared LDS Family (Conference Activity Notebook)

Homeschool: The Search Begins

Homeschool, to me, really just means more options. I can put my child in a variety of programs. I control the curriculum. I get to tailor the needs to each child. I get to say when they go on vacation, or if they need a sick day. I just love being able to use my agency as a mommy in their schooling.

Though Cadence is only 2 1/2, after it weighing on my mind the last couple weeks, I've decided to start the long research project of deciding what to do for his schooling. The truth it, it doesn't start the August after he turns 5 years old. I need to help prepare him for whatever we're going to do now. I regretted not preparing until the 3rd trimester for his birth, thinking I'd get to anxious. We won't be making that mistake with home school.

So here is the beginning notebook.

School's/Curriculum I'm looking into (please comment if you have others you think I may be interested in):

American Heritage (Home & Distance Education)
Benjamin Franklin Homeschool Academy
Montessori Schools
Montessori Homeschool
A Beka

Whatever we do, I plan for it to be at home at least until the 3rd grade. It seems like more schools to "at home" options than I realized. This is just the start list. I'm sure there will be PLENTY of revisions before the final decision. I'm hoping that by educating myself about lots of options now, I can save some work when each new child goes to school, as I'm sure they'll each have different needs. If you have thoughts or experience with any of these, I'd love to hear about it!

Hypnobabies: Afterbirth

 Right After Birth: 
  Kory went through a bunch of medical precaution drama right after birth. It meant for a really tired mother!! I was grateful again for my hypnosis for many reasons including:
1. During afterbirth pains, I didn't have to take any medication. I must admit that I forgot that they existed until the day of his birth (he was born in the middle of the night) and was surprised and frustrated by the pain a felt. When I prepared to nurse him each time after, I tried to prepare by putting myself in center-switch first, which helped immensely. I was still completely medication free.
2. In the seemingly LONG hours he was in the special care nursery, I used hypnosis to help me relax, when I couldn't be in an actual bed to sleep. It helped me to think level-headed so I could make better choices. It helped me with patience and most of all hope that my baby would be healthy and normal (though I must note it was only one factor to this end).

 Adjusting to a new "Normal": 
In the months following Kory's birth, I struggled to feel like my "normal" self again and to adjust to having him as part of our family. Hypnobabies helped me in the following ways:
1. I used the After Baby is Comes script, which I borrowed from a close friend. It helped me to relax before sleeping and to remember my priorities.
2. I still (5 1/2 months later) use my off switch to help me get to sleep at night. I'm a busy mom of two children and our house is hectic! It can be difficult to find time to think, but also difficult for me to turn the thinking off. Use my off-switch - goodbye emotions and thoughts, hello sleep! I love it!
3. It still seems difficult for me still to apply what I've learned to the rest of my life. A relaxed, optimistic (yet still impressively productive) me did not really exist before hypnobabies (at least outside of vacation). I still find myself stressed and struggle to balance life. I wish there was a script for everything...perhaps if I use my off switch more often or put myself in center while I try to memorize meaningful scriptures.

Reflection:
 In my quest to have this birth, I became passionate and desired to help other women find what I have found birth can be (which is not necessarily a "natural" birth experience). I recognize now though that extreme caution comes with such the sharing of such personal experiences. Not everyone wants a natural birth and even more, not everyone can have a natural birth experience. Yet every woman can have intense joy and wonder at choosing to partake in such a beautiful miracle; in giving bodies to God's precious children. I do not desire to make anyone feel shamed or guilty because they have not experienced an unmedicated vaginal birth.

 Instead, I hope that I can positive and encouraging of each unique mother and her beautiful baby. I hope I will have many more opportunities to testify that our purpose as women truly to is give bodies to these precious children of God. It is to nurture them by teaching them, loving them, and directing them to Him, their loving Heavenly Father. We should not be comparing or judgmental. We should not be negative or depressed. Pregnancy, birth, and motherhood are not easy, but that is all the more reason we need to cheer each other on! We can do it! It is our calling from On High and we will surely have His help as we seek for it.

Blessings of a Small Home

If you have even the slightest feelings sometimes of "keeping up with the Jones'" or if you just wish you had space for yourself, check out "The Blessings of a Small Home"! Some good reminders on why it's great to live in a small space (and it's giving me the decluttering itch)

Nurturing Marriage: Date Ideas

 Interestingly enough, there is more than one way a date can nurture your marriage. Besides spending quality time together, having cheap date ideas in your arsenal means that alone time doesn't put strain on the budget.  "Financial related tensions...raise the risk of divorce." (NY Times) We all need some ways to fill up the love tank, without emptying the bank!

 The key to free or cheap dates is identifying them as a date. Often times, they are simple things you probably already do with your spouse. But when the kiddos and extra commitments come along, something about calling it a "date" and setting aside the time a week in advance makes it special. It gives you something to look forward to through your crazy week. 

We take turns planning dates too, which means nurturing comes from both sides of the marriage. It also means we get a better variety of dates and both get to do things that we like. 

 Last, we like to use these free date ideas as wedding gifts. We'll buy a couple card games, stick a $5 gift card for ice cream (or something similar) in each one. Then we'll stick a few date ideas, cut up in strips of paper, in each one. The new couple has some fun date ideas and a little date fund to help them start their lifelong journey of nurturing marriage. It's a winner every time!

Enough "how to", let's get to the ideas!!! (These are the ideas we used for new married couple gifts. I'll post more as my hubby and I continue in our adventures as well).

Creative Play Kitchens

  I have been DYING to do something with the double stroller box we have just hanging around! I thought of making plenty of things (a movie ticket counter, a "tunnel", a train, and a play kitchen). I found so many cute ideas for play kitchens that I confess, I REALLY wanted to make it. I asked my foodie sister: Is it weird to make a play kitchen for a boy? She responds, "No! What are most professional chefs?" To which I easily respond, "Men." (we both LOVE Alton Brown). Interestingly enough, this is what you get a boy who loves trains, has a mom who makes him a play kitchen!

 And the features of our play kitchen (plus some ideas for making your own) are: 

M-I-C-K-E-Y spells Home!

It's kind of sad, but I realized when we went to see Cars 2 as a family last Monday night that Disney has captured me! I have the nostalgic feeling of home whenever I am around anything Disney. I think that's what their whole marketing scheme is based around (and I was sucked in). Of course, I feel a little better about myself considering that I grew up only 20 minutes from Walt Disney World. I used to tell my students that Mickey Mouse is my brother (well, we did tease my brother Michael with that name).
One of my good friends is going to Disney World with her family for the first time in October with Make a Wish Foundation! I'm so excited for them (Excitement = BLOG)! Not to mention I was so excited that we continue to talk with each other about it until I promised her the dreaded link list (dun, dun, dun) of some other fun things to do in Orlando. So here it is, for my special friend, Mel, and anyone else who wants to know how to make Orlando into more than just a Disney vacation!

There's a Hole in my Blog, Dear Liza, Dear Liza

I was thinking about this blog the other day as a collection of who I am, updating my list of books I'm reading (which is pretty pathetic since Child #2 came along), rewording some things to better match my thoughts, and all of the sudden BAM!!!
It's like I got smacked in the face! The biggest part of my life, FOREVER, my other half is not on this blog at all! I wouldn't be a mother without him! There are so many things he has taught me.
I wondered "Why?" "Why am I so quick to write about motherhood, homemaking, homeschooling, etc. but NOTHING about my amazing husband and marriage?" I realized then that it's kind of personal. What could I write that would influence someone else to have a positive marriage without exposing something private between my husband and I?
So, while I can't really convey the beautiful intricacies of marriage on a blog, I decided I can start posting a little more about what makes my marriage so happy and unique.
Here are a couple of thoughts to start off with:
1. It's an eternal marriage.
2. My husband and I BOTH do the finances. Maybe it's a lot of extra work, but it means we have to talk about it more and we're both on the same page. Plus, we can check each other easier (you're much more responsible when you have someone to report to)
3. We are both REDS! I'm talking code - color code. My mother always said "how does that work exactly?" We're pretty productive :) He takes his stuff and I take mine..it works.
4. We LOVE to watch movies together
5. We've just recently had to start "planning" dates. Nothing half-hazard or last minute seemed to be happening anymore with two kids. More on this to come! We've had some great date ideas!
6. There is no question about feeling supported. Whenever I'm passionate about something, he's always been supportive :) (and I'm thinking again, why does this blog exist without him?)
7. He just walked in and said "How much would you be willing be spend for my "super-shed/greenhouse/chicken coop"....better go! Off to more adventures with my other half!

Beat the Heat with Summer Reading

This blog for me is an opportunity to record my favorite sites, topics, ideas, and adventures as a mother and homemaker. It makes for easy access when I forget something and makes it easier for me to share my thoughts (not having to repeat it ten times or write 3 emails of the same information). Lately, I've had so many things to post about! I admit that while the two's can be terrible, it's a budding time of learning for mommy and toddler! Now that I have two children, the new learning seems to happen everyday (and the growing pains at least once a week if you know what I mean).
Looking over my list, I realized how silly it will be for me to post in the fall about summer reading. So, while you may not be able to take advantage of all of the ideas below (because half of the summer is over), at least it will be a resource and idea bank for next year's summer reading. Enjoy!

Breastfeeding Fashion

I've been struggling for clothes lately, now that I'm nursing again. Seriously, what did I do for clothes the first time I was nursing?! I feel like everything is uncomfortable to nurse in this summer and I'm dreading when the baby starts pulling at the nursing cover!
I ran across Mod Milk Momma - a site by my college friend, Mandi. So cute! I love her thrift. I love her easy tutorial on making any top to accommodate breastfeeding AND modesty by including a tank underneath! I just bought 10 of the Old Navy tanks for only $20! I'm so excited that the $20 is going to save me A TON in buying nursing clothes! The tutorial looks super easy (even for an intimidated, green seamstress such as myself). It might just help me get over the fear of using that machine ;) Hope you enjoy the site! I'm proud to be a Mod Milk Momma too!

New C-Section Guildelines

I was happy to read this article on C-Section guidelines, referenced on my friend Jenny's blog. I'm grateful that the pendulum is starting to swing the other way. It's scary how much interest groups and national academies, which are set up to actually represent and help differing groups, can actually set up guidelines to hurt them. Be careful with the power you've been given!
I'm grateful the ACOG has more seriously considered the tragic C-Section rate in our country. I'm grateful we have C-Sections (for which my breech, leg behind his head, low heart rate, and one month early water breaking husband would not have been born without). Still think that 1/3 of the United States' women have them is alarming! I'm hoping this policy especially helps so many women who'd like to have a VBAC! What are your thoughts?

Parenting the Terrible Two Year Old

  I've been struggling lately to be a parent to my little 2 1/2 year old boy (Cadence - Cade for short)! I am grateful for this article - "Yes or No? - Parent Choices".
  Cade's favorite book is No, David by David Shannon. I bet you can't guess what kind of parent I am? I learned a lot about myself by reading the article and even more in the coming days as it heightened my awareness of my parenting style.
  In general, it left me reflecting again on how difficult it is to parent.

Whole, Foods, the Whole Truth

Whole Foods, the Whole Truth - a short little show about how to begin making your diet more healthy, including ways to help your children eat more healthy and the the benefits of raw versus cooked foods. Check it out!

Even Bath Time is Educational

Toys R Us a cute little birthday club. Your child can come into the store and get a free balloon and they give you a free $3 to use in the store (plus more, but that's all Cade and I cared about). While there is not a whole lot worthwhile that's $3, I told myself that if I got something about $6 it would at least a half off!


So in March, (though Cade's bday is in January, we didn't end up getting there until the $3 almost expired) Cade and I wandered the store and finally scored this fun little item - soap crayons!

Kory's Beautiful Hypnobabies Birth

On Monday morning, March 21^st, 2011, I decided I wanted to sleep in, for no particular reason. I felt awake but just wanted more sleep. I finally got up at about 8:30 a.m. and had breakfast with my two-year-old. I had two appointments Monday morning – at 9 a.m. and 10 a.m. – to visit teach (visit some women in my church with a gospel message). The first was cancelled because the sister was sick. I started getting ready for the second and felt some pressure waves (contractions) and it made me not really want to go, but I went anyway. It was a good visit and helped me stay distracted from the pressure.

When I got back at about 11 a.m., I realized I didn’t have plans for the day, so I decided to start getting more ready for the baby to born. I made an overnight bag for my two-year-old, emailed our birth/baby preferences to my husband to print, and started charging my camera battery and my IPOD (which is what I’d been listening to my hypnosis scripts on). In the middle of doing this, I was trying to take care of making some more urgent appointments and answering phone calls. I made one appointment for Sunday and even told the lady that I was 9 months pregnant (thinking that I probably would not end up going).

Noon rolled around and I got on google chat to ask my husband (Austin) to come home for lunch because my waves were getting more intense and I really wanted to focus and do a hypnosis script. He said he couldn’t make it until around 1 p.m. I told him not to bother because by then my two-year-old would be napping and I could lie down to do a script. I was hoping to fall asleep (like I had in my script practice the last couple weeks) and wake up having the waves calmed down.

I barely got my two-year-old lunch and in bed. It was getting much more difficult to handle him. I lay down on my bed and started the deepening track. I loved this track because it helped me feel so deep in hypnosis that, even if I didn’t get a full nap, I could wake up feeling refreshed. That didn’t happen this time. I was conscious during the entire script and came up at the end of it, still feeling the intense waves. I called my husband on the phone and told him to come home.

Playdough

I was so excited to try playdough with my two-year-old! I cooked it up using the traditional recipe and he even helped me dye it. That was about as far as it went! I LOVED coloring it, but thinks it feels "yucky". So mommy always has to roll it out and he just presses in the shapes. I suppose I don't mind so much. It ends up being some good one-on-one homeschooling time. I bought a HUGE set of different cookie cutters that included letters and numbers. Currently, his favorite is "x".
It's fun to watch him explore and learn. His favorite color right now is black. His does a great job counting to three (four if I encourage him), and his favorite shape remains a star (though he is getting good at identifying the others).

Actually LEARNING in church?!

Do you REALLY think a two-year-old can learn something about God during church? It seems so often we just bring stuff to entertain them (don't get me wrong - I'm a Disney fan too!) so that we can focus on what is being said and feel some sort of spiritual inspiration.
Just the other day I thought, "this just isn't working". Cadence has very few "quiet" toys, so he was getting bored pretty fast. Plus, I learned the majority of "quiet" things we usually do together at home, so he always expected me to help "entertain him" - which leaves both of us not receiving any spiritual upliftment! If we sit near other kids it is a disaster because they're either having a great time with lots of loud laughter, or fighting over toys with lots of loud frustration.
The answer to my original question is: YES! They don't go to nursery (our 18 month to 3 year old class in our church) to just play with toys and be babysat while mom and dad learn the gospel. They go there to learn about God. We have a BLESSED nursery leader in our stake, who has spent so much time magnifying her calling by making books and other manipulative toys that are cheap, yet still gospel centered. She buys stuff from the local thrift store, uses old church magazines, and re-crafts Christmas cards. She has INSPIRED me! Here are some of "my" creations:

Breastfeeding is Tax Deductible!

Check out this article! I was happy to hear some support in favor of breast-feeding.

Breastfeeding: It's Now Tax Deductible!

Recipes II

Here are more healthy recipes that we have recently tried in our family:

Asian Black Bean-Asparagus Salad
Avacado Dip
Grilled Teriyaki Chicken Sandwhich
Homemade Granola Bars
Crustless Apple Pie

These are on the waiting list:
Lentil Cookies
Lentil Soup,
Tuscan Bean Soup,
Quinoa & Beans,
Hummus,
Vegan Cheese Ball (made with cashews actually),
Zuppa Tuscana,
Chicken Divan.

Enjoy!

Hypnosis for Childbirth

I've had so many posts lined up to put on my blog, but one is particularly close to my mind and heart right now. Austin and I just finished our fifth (out of six) Hypnobabies class. It's hard to describe in words what this class has brought to my life and my pregnancy. It's seems almost superficial to say that the class is "awesome" or even that I "love" it. It seems though the experience is controlled and the classes "the same" for everyone, each person seems to experience hypnosis, and the classes for that matter, in a different way. This is what the class has brought me: