On Monday morning, March 21st, 2011, I decided I wanted to sleep in, for no particular reason. I felt awake but just wanted more sleep. I finally got up at about 8:30 a.m. and had breakfast with my two-year-old. I had two appointments Monday morning – at 9 a.m. and 10 a.m. – to visit teach (visit some women in my church with a gospel message). The first was cancelled because the sister was sick. I started getting ready for the second and felt some pressure waves (contractions) and it made me not really want to go, but I went anyway. It was a good visit and helped me stay distracted from the pressure.
When I got back at about 11 a.m., I realized I didn’t have plans for the day, so I decided to start getting more ready for the baby to born. I made an overnight bag for my two-year-old, emailed our birth/baby preferences to my husband to print, and started charging my camera battery and my IPOD (which is what I’d been listening to my hypnosis scripts on). In the middle of doing this, I was trying to take care of making some more urgent appointments and answering phone calls. I made one appointment for Sunday and even told the lady that I was 9 months pregnant (thinking that I probably would not end up going).
Noon rolled around and I got on google chat to ask my husband (Austin) to come home for lunch because my waves were getting more intense and I really wanted to focus and do a hypnosis script. He said he couldn’t make it until around 1 p.m. I told him not to bother because by then my two-year-old would be napping and I could lie down to do a script. I was hoping to fall asleep (like I had in my script practice the last couple weeks) and wake up having the waves calmed down.
I barely got my two-year-old lunch and in bed. It was getting much more difficult to handle him. I lay down on my bed and started the deepening track. I loved this track because it helped me feel so deep in hypnosis that, even if I didn’t get a full nap, I could wake up feeling refreshed. That didn’t happen this time. I was conscious during the entire script and came up at the end of it, still feeling the intense waves. I called my husband on the phone and told him to come home.
He was not really convinced I was in my birthing time (labor) because in our previous birth experience, I was in labor for more than a day. So, he came home and kept calling people on the phone for work. Each person who asked he’d say something similar to “well I’m not sure. It seems like she might be, but it was so long with the first that it probably won’t be today”.
Through the pressure waves I’d give him the signal “okay” when I was having one. I changed into lots of positions but found that for this earlier part, the couch was comfortable. He would push against my knees when I would give him the cue.
Our two-year-old woke up from his nap and between my husband caring for him (they were playing Wii baseball together) and working, I wasn’t getting as much help as I felt I needed. He took Cadence to a good friend’s house with his overnight bag and came back to help. During this time I was listening to birthing day affirmations, thinking that even if this wasn’t it, I really wanted to feel more confident. I was excited to listen to this new track and found comfort in the affirmations.
All sorts of things were going through my mind as we progressed closer to dinner time. I would start to think of the events I had to cancel/miss (one of my favorite yearly events the BYU traditions ball). As soon as one would come up, I’d just dismiss it and think “but I want my baby more than these”. I was laughing with my husband at one point about all of these things. I had scheduled my therapeutic message for Wednesday and told him if I made it until then, I’d really be wanting it! I felt a little hungry so Austin made me half a peanut butter sandwhich (YUM!). I ended up throwing up about 45 minutes later, but still love peanut butter and don’t regret eating it J
Dinner time came and my husband threw a freezer meal I had made previously into the oven for him. It ended up taking 2 hours to cook – poor guy (but was REALLY good he said). We were starting to discuss calling Marie, our hypno-doula and Hypnobabies instructor. We debated for a little bit and I finally said “I feel like I need constant help, so you should have her come”. He called Marie and she said she could make it in two hours. 
While we waited for Marie, Austin spent time focusing more on me instead of on work (he’s not a work-a-holic…it was a REALLY busy day at work and a bad day for Austin to have to leave). I started to loose my mucus plug while having some pressure waves on the toilet and he said “well we can go to the hospital when she gets here”. I wasn’t quite ready to go though. I wanted to wait until the last minute and spend the majority of my birthing time where I had practiced my hypnosis and felt comfortable. During this time I also moved into our tub and Austin would poor hot water on my back. He decided to read one of the scripts for the birth partner booklet. I loved hearing it! The best words that helped me in this time were “loose and limp”. It was easy to imagine my body being loose and limp in the water.
Just before Marie arrived we moved out to the birth ball and couch. Austin spent time in between pressure waves packing our hospital bag. He did a great job packing everything he thought we’d need and asked me questions when I could answer. I had a hard time getting comfortable on the couch. I was feeling all the pressure and stretching in my hips. I kept feeling frustrated I could feel so much! I expected that under hypnosis I wouldn’t really feel anything. I didn’t feel A LOT of discomfort, but was getting discouraged feeling the stretching sensations. Was I really deep enough in hypnosis? Was I using the tools I had practiced like I should? (Marie said that during this part, she was impressed with how deep I was and how good I was doing). I remember telling Austin “I can’t do this” and he reaffirmed “yes you can, you’re doing great”. We were beginning transformation stage (transition)
Marie arrived and I really wanted to open my eyes and see her. It took a minute for me to get in center switch (the “walking epidural” of hypnosis – if you will). I felt nauseous again and she brought over some peppermint oil. It calmed my stomach right down and then I felt okay enough to open my eyes. I told them I needed to switch positions so we tried moving to the bed. Marie told Austin he could take a break and he welcomed the suggestion. I think he spent some time finishing last minute work items and then went to take a nap. My cue for a pressure wave for Marie ended up being just a deep breath (which made me even thirstier – I was drinking LOTS of water in between waves). I would know a wave was coming on because I’d feel my baby kick up. I was grateful I realized the pattern because previously, I could only signal them when I was in the height of a wave.
I spent some time on the bed, but because I felt so much stretching my hips, it wasn’t comfortable for long. I kept thinking to myself, “open, open, open”, but had a hard time picturing myself opening while lying down. We headed back to the tub. Marie helped me by pouring the water over my back as I leaned forward on the side of her leg (she was sitting on the edge of the tub) to help relax. She said she really felt to just be quiet during this time. I appreciate her quiet because I had plenty of words coming to my mind from the scripts, right as I needed them.
We stayed in the tub for what felt like a long time. My husband woke up and I decided to move back to the toilet and turn on another script (I think easy first stage). While here the waves got very intense. I told Marie I thought I’d want to go to the hospital and asked her to check me (I had only had one midwife appointment where they could’ve given me a vaginal check once and I declined – it’s nice to birth by feel and not worry over numbers). Austin went to put a towel on the bed. He also went to pack the car. Marie said let’s wait about 15 more minutes and then she could check me. During this “waiting” I started to feel really intense, bearing down waves. She told me to just go with what I felt. This helped because I had been fighting against them, worried I’d have my baby at home. Then I told myself, if he ended up being born right there, it was okay with me, and I let the waves take over (I really wanted a homebirth anyway). I told Marie I just wanted to go to the hospital (so she didn’t end up checking me) because I felt like pushing. She said “If you’re feeling pushy, we’d better go”. I stood up and lost some bloody show as part of my mucus plug. Austin got me some slippers and we grabbed a towel for the car and we hurried there.
The cool air felt so good outside. I felt like Austin flew to the hospital. In the class, you create a special place. Each time the script mentioned it, it calmed me down, but I couldn’t really stay there. I was in this comfortable dark place instead. Actually, I’m not sure what script I was even listening to on the way. I feeling a little nervous to have my baby in the car so I told myself the whole way there “I have to go the hospital to get my baby…go get my baby”.
They got a wheelchair and wheeled me in. I heard whoever was pushing me say “106?” and I said “I want the natural birth room” (which is 107). She asked and they said it was fine. They wheeled me in and I spent some time in the wheelchair working through a wave. The nurse wanted me on the bed to check me (apparently I was an 8 but I didn’t know until afterward). Marie reminded Austin that I didn’t want to birth my baby in the bed and he needed to help make sure that was honored. She also reminded him to put up our hypnobabies signs, but we had left them at home along with the birth partner scripts in the rush (oops).
Austin and Marie got me up in the bed, but I couldn’t be on my back. The nurse was kind to check me on my side, then strapped the monitors to me and left the room for a minute (or did she…I wasn’t really sure of much going on around me at this point). Austin took off the end of the bed and got the squat bar. (I was SO GLAD we toured the hospital and knew where everything was). I got down from the bed feeling really pushy and started to do some low tone moans. A couple pushes and my water broke. It was a huge gush on the floor and I heard a loud “woah” from my husband. The floor was slippery and it was hard to balance hanging on the squat bar, so I ended up leaning over the bed. The nurse got a towel and left it on the floor, which made it easier to stand again. With each push, more water was coming out. Austin says he was thinking “How much water can be in there?” He also confessed it was a good thing he couldn’t see me because he was almost laughing at the low moaning tones.
I felt my baby’s head move down into the birth canal right after the water broke. What an amazing feeling! It surprised me and I reassured myself that my baby was coming to me and this is what I wanted. I didn’t want to tear but I felt like I couldn’t control the pushes. Marie reminded me to inch the baby out and I started moaning in short tones. She was moaning with me, which really helped. I remember hearing someone come in and thinking “I hope that’s my midwife because this baby is coming”. Honestly, I didn’t care at this point if she was there because there were plenty of people to receive the baby. She quickly put her gloves on and the head was crowning. I know my midwife was talking to me but I didn’t hear anything she said really. After birthing his head the urge to push stopped, so I paused for a minute. About the 3rd time she said “we really need to get the shoulders out” I actually heard her consciously to respond. I pushed again and he was born. Austin actually helped the midwife receive the baby and went with him to the warmer. I remember saying “please don’t cut the cord”, but she said they had to because he was blue (APGAR was 6, then 8). He quickly perked up and started crying when they got him to the warmer. It was so reassuring to hear him finally cry. Kory David Smith was here @ 1:28 a.m. on March 22nd (his due date was April 3rd), about 30 minutes after arriving at the hospital!! 6 lbs 3 oz, 19 inches long (which we didn’t find out until his check about an hour later).
Austin started rubbing in the vernix, while the baby’s nurse was drying him off. During this time, I had to get up in the bed because I was having a hard time pushing out the placenta (just didn’t feel an urge and was thinking more about my baby than continuing to birth). The midwife didn’t want me to lose too much blood so she had me get up in the bed. When I finally focused, the placenta was birthed quickly, with absolutely no discomfort. She then cleaned me off and found a small forward and small rearward tear. She pinched them for about five minutes and they stopped bleeding, so we decided against the one stitch she said I may need.
They brought my baby over to me for some skin to skin contact. It was so good to see him and hold him. I was happy and so alert. In fact, even in a week I still have only heard him really cry once. He’s such a happy, peaceful baby, just as I could sense during my pregnancy. 
I nursed after holding him about 15 minutes. It was at this time we realized we hadn't taken any pictures. I emphasized it wasn't because he's my second child, but because I was so much apart of my own birth - experiencing everything. I don't regret not stopping for the kodak moment. The nurses left us alone to spend some time together. After nursing (perfectly – 15 min on each side, beautiful latch), they took him to start some checks because I ended up with group B strep, but didn’t know it (we were going to discuss the test results at my 38 week visit the next day)
I spent some time talking with Marie about hypnobabies and how the birth went. In between the nurse was asking me the admitting questions and I just laughed! I wanted it to be that way – admitted AFTER my baby was born. No time for questions. They did such a good job accommodating my birth plan at the hospital, even though we never ended up printing it out.
1 comment:
This was wonderful to read! I'm glad it went just as you hoped. Thank you for sharing :)
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