Pairing Down the Projects!

 Ever since I was called to lead the Young Women (Girl's age 12-18) Organization in our church, I have been feeling pretty unbalanced. I feel like I'm always juggling and while some things are going well, others seem to fade further and further into extinction. I suppose that's why God called me to do this, so I could really focus my energies on the work that really matters & a few basic tools I can use to accomplish them. What are they?
The Work.
 1. God. My personal relationship with Him. Time spent in the temple. Time to ponder. Time to study. Time to pray - to really pray. Without interruptions... 
 2. Family. Namely education with and playing with my children. These are the times I feel eternity most. When we play in the boy's room, which has no clock on the wall, I lose track of time and just enjoy reading to them, playing, & creating. It also means that I am self-disciplined creating a structure for our home, which I still haven't grasped since our youngest was born. It means that the family time is planned and meaningful. It means regular time to strengthen my marriage. This has grown to take so much more effort since #2 came along and my husband started school again.
 3. Church & Friendships. The growth of others. The real, sincere service that helps others draw closer to Christ. It means having to live more by the Spirit, being directed to know what to do and when to do it. I feel so dependent on the Lord in working with the Young Women. They truly are His daughters and He has a plan for them. I just have to be humble and still enough to know the plan so I can help.
 Tools to help me accomplish these works:
 1. Health. Providing healthy meals my family can gather around. It's so much easier to prevent illness and have energy to do the work of the Lord when you eat healthy. It is a PROJECT - phew! But either you put the work in to stay healthy or it catches up to you when you get sick.
 2. Family History. A close second for me to family is preserving my family history. I love to learn about my ancestors and teach my children about their family. I love to record what is going on in our family (which I do mostly at www.asmithfam.blogspot.com). It's important to me that we enjoy and capture the moments that are so precious in helping us grow together to become like Jesus Christ. 
 3. Music. To me it really means God, and family, and church. I realized the other day singing a beautiful song about Christ that music is how I gained my testimony. It's how my mother shared her testimony with me. It unified our family. I've pushed it aside for other projects, but dusted it off and started using this tool again to help me accomplish all of the above. The nice thing is, while I'm still working to improve, it's a skill I'm already proficient in. It's a polished tool I can use, not one I'm trying to acquire.

These are the "projects". They hardly seemed like projects if you asked me even a year ago. But when I was faced with entirely too many things to do, constant piles of unfinished business in my tiny house, and unhappy children, I had to focus and figure out what is most important for me. It means I'm cutting out things I REALLY love doing or I'd like to learn. I know there will come another time in life to pull those other things out. I realized I just have to be me. I have to do what I can and simplify. For me for now, it's back to the basics.

Hypnobabies: Afterbirth

 Right After Birth: 
  Kory went through a bunch of medical precaution drama right after birth. It meant for a really tired mother!! I was grateful again for my hypnosis for many reasons including:
1. During afterbirth pains, I didn't have to take any medication. I must admit that I forgot that they existed until the day of his birth (he was born in the middle of the night) and was surprised and frustrated by the pain a felt. When I prepared to nurse him each time after, I tried to prepare by putting myself in center-switch first, which helped immensely. I was still completely medication free.
2. In the seemingly LONG hours he was in the special care nursery, I used hypnosis to help me relax, when I couldn't be in an actual bed to sleep. It helped me to think level-headed so I could make better choices. It helped me with patience and most of all hope that my baby would be healthy and normal (though I must note it was only one factor to this end).

 Adjusting to a new "Normal": 
In the months following Kory's birth, I struggled to feel like my "normal" self again and to adjust to having him as part of our family. Hypnobabies helped me in the following ways:
1. I used the After Baby is Comes script, which I borrowed from a close friend. It helped me to relax before sleeping and to remember my priorities.
2. I still (5 1/2 months later) use my off switch to help me get to sleep at night. I'm a busy mom of two children and our house is hectic! It can be difficult to find time to think, but also difficult for me to turn the thinking off. Use my off-switch - goodbye emotions and thoughts, hello sleep! I love it!
3. It still seems difficult for me still to apply what I've learned to the rest of my life. A relaxed, optimistic (yet still impressively productive) me did not really exist before hypnobabies (at least outside of vacation). I still find myself stressed and struggle to balance life. I wish there was a script for everything...perhaps if I use my off switch more often or put myself in center while I try to memorize meaningful scriptures.

Reflection:
 In my quest to have this birth, I became passionate and desired to help other women find what I have found birth can be (which is not necessarily a "natural" birth experience). I recognize now though that extreme caution comes with such the sharing of such personal experiences. Not everyone wants a natural birth and even more, not everyone can have a natural birth experience. Yet every woman can have intense joy and wonder at choosing to partake in such a beautiful miracle; in giving bodies to God's precious children. I do not desire to make anyone feel shamed or guilty because they have not experienced an unmedicated vaginal birth.

 Instead, I hope that I can positive and encouraging of each unique mother and her beautiful baby. I hope I will have many more opportunities to testify that our purpose as women truly to is give bodies to these precious children of God. It is to nurture them by teaching them, loving them, and directing them to Him, their loving Heavenly Father. We should not be comparing or judgmental. We should not be negative or depressed. Pregnancy, birth, and motherhood are not easy, but that is all the more reason we need to cheer each other on! We can do it! It is our calling from On High and we will surely have His help as we seek for it.

Kory's Beautiful Hypnobabies Birth

On Monday morning, March 21^st, 2011, I decided I wanted to sleep in, for no particular reason. I felt awake but just wanted more sleep. I finally got up at about 8:30 a.m. and had breakfast with my two-year-old. I had two appointments Monday morning – at 9 a.m. and 10 a.m. – to visit teach (visit some women in my church with a gospel message). The first was cancelled because the sister was sick. I started getting ready for the second and felt some pressure waves (contractions) and it made me not really want to go, but I went anyway. It was a good visit and helped me stay distracted from the pressure.

When I got back at about 11 a.m., I realized I didn’t have plans for the day, so I decided to start getting more ready for the baby to born. I made an overnight bag for my two-year-old, emailed our birth/baby preferences to my husband to print, and started charging my camera battery and my IPOD (which is what I’d been listening to my hypnosis scripts on). In the middle of doing this, I was trying to take care of making some more urgent appointments and answering phone calls. I made one appointment for Sunday and even told the lady that I was 9 months pregnant (thinking that I probably would not end up going).

Noon rolled around and I got on google chat to ask my husband (Austin) to come home for lunch because my waves were getting more intense and I really wanted to focus and do a hypnosis script. He said he couldn’t make it until around 1 p.m. I told him not to bother because by then my two-year-old would be napping and I could lie down to do a script. I was hoping to fall asleep (like I had in my script practice the last couple weeks) and wake up having the waves calmed down.

I barely got my two-year-old lunch and in bed. It was getting much more difficult to handle him. I lay down on my bed and started the deepening track. I loved this track because it helped me feel so deep in hypnosis that, even if I didn’t get a full nap, I could wake up feeling refreshed. That didn’t happen this time. I was conscious during the entire script and came up at the end of it, still feeling the intense waves. I called my husband on the phone and told him to come home.

In the Spirit of Thanksgiving

I was just writing in my journal how thankful I am for my family. This is exactly why I feel to write in a journal. As I do, I have a chance to review each day and count my many blessings. Check out this video: In the Spirit of Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving!

Moody Blogger

I was on this endless search for the perfect template and background that just screams "AMY!" and I couldn't seem to find it. Even if I was satisfied, I would shortly change my mind and the hunt began all over again. It was then I realized I am a moody blogger. I suppose my blog changes with the mood, season, or even just the sake of breaking up monotony. I suppose that is me. I am a moody blogger.

I'm Back!

I have been contemplating what I really want to use this blog for. The truth is, I feel like more people read our family blog, so I'd like to post more personal, passionate things there. However, I think most people go to that blog to see what's going on my family life. So I decided to keep my passions here. Be on the look out for more posts again on saving money, natural birth, being a mommy, improving my homestead, and other items I'm passionate about.

The Pill Poppers & Drug Industry

WOW!!! I am so amazed at how, more and more, we see people popping pills and a money-hungry industry willing to create any drug for any purpose (more than half of which work more on our power of thought than any actual imbalance). Today I was listening to one of my favorite radio stations (classical 89) and the announcer suggested that the drug industry may be working on a pill to make us more MORAL!! Can you believe it?! Actually altering something in our brain to cause us to make decisions which are more moral. It was an open ended question and I found myself thinking out loud back to the radio - THESE PEOPLE ARE CRAZY!!! Agency is fundamental to making us moral. I couldn't really think of how to put it until I read it perfectly in Dr. Laura's book tonight (yes I'm reading another.. "How could you do that?!"... which is what I'm thinking after today..) "And where there is no choice, there is no morality." We are not talking about the choice to take the pill, or not take the pill (I pray I'm never in a society that reduces itself to making money with a drug that supposedly causes someone to be more moral). We are talking about the choice WITHOUT a drug!! We all have the choice. Of course it requires sacrifice! The skill we are trying to learn is NOT COMPLETELY to be more moral, but to create in ourselves a self-mastered individual. What happens when you are taken from this life and can no longer take "the pill"? You are left finding yourself with all sorts of unbridled desires. The two are inseparably connected.

The picture comes from the following site:
http://sagamorejournal.wordpress.com/2009/07/01/fda-recommends-tightening-controls-of-certain-narcotics/

Why?

Why does it seem there are WAY TOO MANY fun things to do in the summer (I can't fit them all in) and yet in the winter...blah! We're talking parades, carnivals, BBQ's, pool party, vacation, and on and on... Maybe we need the down time, maybe I am not a winter girl. Then again, we do have Christmas, but it just keeps the fall months busy in preparation. What do you think? I'm going to need some help with fun this winter (or maybe I'll be too tired from the summer fun to want it).

I am booked!

Wow! It seems like so much is going on that I don't have very much time to sit down and write a little thought. Oddly enough I get some time and my mind is completely blank! Maybe it's because I have been writing more in my regular journal.
A short question and thought -
Question: Sometimes people ask me for advice and I don't know what to say. It doesn't happen often (in fact I think I'm one of those people that gives unrequested advice), but what should I do then? Just say "I don't know". I think maybe I need to learn how to help people come to their own conclusions. Thoughts on this...
Short thought: I love spring time and now I remember why. So many people are out and about! I love seeing and running into the most random people. The weather is beautiful and you just feel happy anyway :) It's why I think the winter time is the perfect time to have a baby. You're in to take care of your child when no one really wants to be outside so you don't miss much. Then they are old enough to be out and about and everyone else starts "feeling like it" again. I love it!

I have learned...

...a lot in the last few weeks. I've had a few hard-to-get-over bumps. They come together in three words - "who am I?" Sounds like a dumb question and after 24 years of living you'd think I would have already figured it out. Yet I realized today that I am always gaining a new awareness, not just of who I am, but who am I to become. I think this enlightenment comes from trying new things, sometimes from giving up old habits, but most recently from learning to embrace instead of cower from my most recent glimpse into my potential. Deciding and implementing a new active role in becoming that person has caused me to win a small victory in the lifelong battle.
Long term goals are so important. Trouble for me sometimes comes in those seemingly insignificant steps that get us there. Am I happy with what I am given today? Am I achieving something worthwhile now?
At the same time, I am not always afforded foresight. The door to faith then opens. The closer I am to the Lord, the more I will learn about myself. It is like Him I am trying to become. He knows me so perfectly.
The cycle continues. It is a delicate balance between feeling accomplished & seeing how much more is left to do; in living in the moment & looking forward to where you are going.

I love...

FAMILY HISTORY! So remember how I said I am a sucker for a great family history medium? Well I realized there are a couple of reasons I have grown to love recording family history. First, I'm sad not more of my own childhood is recorded (especially when I hear my siblings talk about not remembering much). Second, I never really knew 3 out of the 4 grandparents I have here on this earth. I remember feeling pretty sad that I didn't have someone to call grandma or grandpa growing up (imagine how weird it is for me to have 3 sets through my husband, and for my son to have 2 sets of grandparents, 7 great-grandparents, and 1 great-great grandma living!). So I went on a hunt during college to discover my roots. I even ended up planning a family reunion with my cousin for my mom's side.
All of this boils down to my question for the day....what am I going to do?!?! So I let this information kinda' leak (how could I not - I am passionate!) and I have to talk in enrichment about what we can do now in our family history. Ideas anyone?!

I beamed...

... Today when I got on the ward directory online to look up a phone number & saw that Cadence John was listed under our names!! It somehow feels more official now. I'm so happy he is apart of our eternal family.

I compared...

... the conversion of Saul/Paul & Alma the younger (and the sons of Mosiah). AMAZING similarities that can help anyone better understand conversion and the characteristics of a good missionary!

I paused...

... last night when for the first time in, I can't remember how long, I rolled onto my stomach trying to get comfortable.

"I" meaning "Eye"

It's just a blog about different things I view in the world. So please think of the "I" as what "eye" see, not as me. It's NOT however a soap box, so PLEASE add your in"sight" in the comments section!