Family Night with Toddlers

 Each Monday night our church encourages families to spend time together learning the gospel. We call this time, Family Home Evening, or sometimes for short FHE or Family Night.
 My husband and I have been brainstorming ways that we can better cater to the developemental abilities of our toddler and 10 month old and still have a meaningful FHE. Here are some of the ideas we've been trying.

1. Keep lessons brief. We like them to be about 5 minutes long and use Behold, Your Little Ones, and the Primary 1: I am a Child of God manual as the subject matter. The children can even help prepare and give these lessons.
2. Lots of singing! We used to just sing one or two songs, but now we play song games with familiar songs to the children or songs they are just learning. We try to choose new songs that cover the gospel topic we want to focus on.
 - One of the song games we love to play is "Singing Cop". We simple use the ASL signs for stop and go and have one person direct while the others sing, following along. There is absolutely no preparation required and you can play it anywhere!
 - It is difficult for our children it seems to memorize scriptures and stories at this age without a lot of effort. It seems much easier to commit a gospel lesson to memory by teaching them the Children's Songbook songs. Another good reason for LOTS of singing time.
 - We can easily reinforce the new songs they're learning as lullabies through the week or even work-songs as we're doing household chores.
3. Have a routine. We start with dinner when dad gets home. Then, we sing the Family Night song and have an opening prayer. Followed by the short lesson, activity, then treat. We don't always get to every section, but starting with the Family Night song and closing with family prayer for the night keeps a structure that makes it easy for the children to know what comes next.
4. Involve the Children. I've already mentioned this some, but our 3-year-old looks forward to family night when he gets to help pick the songs, make the treat, or prepare a lesson.
5. Set reasonable expectations. It's not always going to go picture perfect. In fact, I practiced the first lesson with our oldest son and every practice and frustrating but when it was time to give the lesson, he really took the stage! It's those bright moments that come which tell you it's worth it. Don't get frustrated if it doesn't go perfectly.

What are some ideas that you have used to help with small children during Family Night?

Unifying Our Family

For several years now my husband and I have been discussing, researching, reviewing, and revising a family mission statement. We want a family creed; something that our family can live by and unite in supporting.
While the work goes on in establishing the details of the statement, we do have a short three principles our mission statement will include:

A. Smith Family

Knowledge & Wisdom

Faithful Obedience

Charity

  We can feel overwhelmed and run ourselves down trying to do everything good in this world. Truly, there is so many good causes. But what is it that you (your family) is meant to do? Where do your specific talents and interests lie? What is it you enjoy? What is a cause that unites individuals and binds you as a family? Answering these questions honestly will give you a sense of belonging and purpose; a mission in this world. While the common purpose of this life  for all humanity is to "prepare to meet God" by receiving the necessary covenants and performing the ordinances of his gospel, our particular path will be as unique, just as each of God's children is unique.

  Now, our above mission statement is not quite a cause. Yet it is the beginning governing principles that help us determine what causes we will be involved in and where our priorities lie. I'm grateful to my husband for leading out in this endeavor. I'm grateful for the structure and the order it encourages in our home.

 I thought about composing a song around these principles (I still may), but realized the other day singing "Seek the Lord Early" that this inspired primary song matches so perfectly our family mission. Interestingly, before we ever came up with a mission statement, my husband and I decided our family hymn would be "Because I Have Been Given Much", a hymn full of gratitude that moves us to charitable acts towards others. Each time I sing the hymn I think of my family. 

 Growing up my mother started a unifying force in our family through song. She'd sit at the piano and we'd all gather around her one by one until we were a full choir. While my father never joined in (he'll tell you because of his lack of musical ability), he too would stop whatever he was doing to come sit, listen, and cheer us on (often making jokes about us making him rich someday). One song in particular became our "family song". It was, "If We Hold On Together" from The Land Before Time. When we grew older and most of us had left the house (or were about it) my mother gave each of us a copy. It reminds us that each of us in united in helping each other achieve the same eternal goal. Each time I sing it, I still think of my family.

 One final example (though I could give so many more): awhile ago (actually July 2010) Austin and I decided to start memorizing scriptures and hymns together. We began with the scripture in Alma, Chapter 57 vs. 27. I suppose you could say we "ended" with it as well. We never changed the scripture. In fact, the same written out scripture stayed on our front door until I took it down at the beginning of this month. While it may seem that good intentions were wasted, I really memorized that scripture. It became a part of us (though I've never been very good with the reference) and seems to say to me "this is who you are, because of the last name that you carry."

 I think often of Nephi and the goodly parents he had - the good name he was given (1 Nephi 1:1). There is something significant in this statement. There is a reason these familial ties are discuss before they endeavor a difficult trek through the wilderness as a family. Each family passes through some kind of refining fire. Our "unifier" whatever it may be, can help us to to conquer, to "hold on together".

 These thoughts encourage me to ponder on what I am passing along to my children. What kind of name, purpose, and mission are they given? Will it be strong and deep enough to help us pass through the refining fire that lies ahead? 

 What unifier have you created for your family?

 

Pairing Down the Projects!

 Ever since I was called to lead the Young Women (Girl's age 12-18) Organization in our church, I have been feeling pretty unbalanced. I feel like I'm always juggling and while some things are going well, others seem to fade further and further into extinction. I suppose that's why God called me to do this, so I could really focus my energies on the work that really matters & a few basic tools I can use to accomplish them. What are they?
The Work.
 1. God. My personal relationship with Him. Time spent in the temple. Time to ponder. Time to study. Time to pray - to really pray. Without interruptions... 
 2. Family. Namely education with and playing with my children. These are the times I feel eternity most. When we play in the boy's room, which has no clock on the wall, I lose track of time and just enjoy reading to them, playing, & creating. It also means that I am self-disciplined creating a structure for our home, which I still haven't grasped since our youngest was born. It means that the family time is planned and meaningful. It means regular time to strengthen my marriage. This has grown to take so much more effort since #2 came along and my husband started school again.
 3. Church & Friendships. The growth of others. The real, sincere service that helps others draw closer to Christ. It means having to live more by the Spirit, being directed to know what to do and when to do it. I feel so dependent on the Lord in working with the Young Women. They truly are His daughters and He has a plan for them. I just have to be humble and still enough to know the plan so I can help.
 Tools to help me accomplish these works:
 1. Health. Providing healthy meals my family can gather around. It's so much easier to prevent illness and have energy to do the work of the Lord when you eat healthy. It is a PROJECT - phew! But either you put the work in to stay healthy or it catches up to you when you get sick.
 2. Family History. A close second for me to family is preserving my family history. I love to learn about my ancestors and teach my children about their family. I love to record what is going on in our family (which I do mostly at www.asmithfam.blogspot.com). It's important to me that we enjoy and capture the moments that are so precious in helping us grow together to become like Jesus Christ. 
 3. Music. To me it really means God, and family, and church. I realized the other day singing a beautiful song about Christ that music is how I gained my testimony. It's how my mother shared her testimony with me. It unified our family. I've pushed it aside for other projects, but dusted it off and started using this tool again to help me accomplish all of the above. The nice thing is, while I'm still working to improve, it's a skill I'm already proficient in. It's a polished tool I can use, not one I'm trying to acquire.

These are the "projects". They hardly seemed like projects if you asked me even a year ago. But when I was faced with entirely too many things to do, constant piles of unfinished business in my tiny house, and unhappy children, I had to focus and figure out what is most important for me. It means I'm cutting out things I REALLY love doing or I'd like to learn. I know there will come another time in life to pull those other things out. I realized I just have to be me. I have to do what I can and simplify. For me for now, it's back to the basics.

Motherhood: An Eternal Partnership with God

Motherhood: An Eternal Partnership with God

Please follow this link to watch the video. It is for mothers. It is for those considering motherhood. It is for those who wonder about motherhood and those who doubt motherhood. This video is for everyone to watch and remember the importance of this divine, eternal calling.

Mother's I's

It started about a month ago. I started thinking of Mother's Day and wondering if my husband would remember me enough to do something special. As Mother's Day came closer I started dropping more hints and found myself thinking more and more about how I should be appreciated. Sad, huh? Then all of these horrible things started to happen, from people whispering about me with my tantrum child in the airplane to a horrible day with Cadence at church (and everyone else seemed to know what his problem was).
I was complaining to some friends about how little credit we get as mother's. Then some flowers and candy arrived unexpectedly from a friend wishing me a Happy Mother's Day. I began to feel really pathetic. I had been complaining about my role as mother and thinking about how little credit I get for the work I do. I had been thinking about one thing - MYSELF!

Without Easter There Would Be No Christmas

I was thinking a lot this year about the Easter holiday. We do all of these special things during Christmas to bring the Spirit of Christ into our lives. But what about Easter? For our family, it's never been "as big" or as anticipated as Christmas. So, I spent last Christmas trying to make it less commercial and this Easter trying to make it "more important". For without Christ's resurrection and glorious victory over death, we would not be celebrating Christmas either.
On my brother's mission, he had a companion whose mom sent them a package. In the package was, due to their family tradition, 8 easter eggs. Inside each egg was a symbol of Easter, along with a scripture. Though my brother could not remember all of the symbols and all of the scriptures, I thought this would be a fun way to combine something in the spring that represents new life (easter eggs) with the symbols of Christ. I came up with some of my own symbols/scriptures that I felt were important to remember. We open one each day, the last one always being opened on Easter Sunday. Here they are in order.

The Invisible Woman

My husband's mother sent this to me (I don't even know the reference). To everyone who is a mother and has days where they wonder if they are doing any good - this one is for you!!

The Pill Poppers & Drug Industry

WOW!!! I am so amazed at how, more and more, we see people popping pills and a money-hungry industry willing to create any drug for any purpose (more than half of which work more on our power of thought than any actual imbalance). Today I was listening to one of my favorite radio stations (classical 89) and the announcer suggested that the drug industry may be working on a pill to make us more MORAL!! Can you believe it?! Actually altering something in our brain to cause us to make decisions which are more moral. It was an open ended question and I found myself thinking out loud back to the radio - THESE PEOPLE ARE CRAZY!!! Agency is fundamental to making us moral. I couldn't really think of how to put it until I read it perfectly in Dr. Laura's book tonight (yes I'm reading another.. "How could you do that?!"... which is what I'm thinking after today..) "And where there is no choice, there is no morality." We are not talking about the choice to take the pill, or not take the pill (I pray I'm never in a society that reduces itself to making money with a drug that supposedly causes someone to be more moral). We are talking about the choice WITHOUT a drug!! We all have the choice. Of course it requires sacrifice! The skill we are trying to learn is NOT COMPLETELY to be more moral, but to create in ourselves a self-mastered individual. What happens when you are taken from this life and can no longer take "the pill"? You are left finding yourself with all sorts of unbridled desires. The two are inseparably connected.

The picture comes from the following site:
http://sagamorejournal.wordpress.com/2009/07/01/fda-recommends-tightening-controls-of-certain-narcotics/

I am disgusted...

...with Parenting magazine! I have enjoyed perusing the mag since my pregnancy days int he dr's office, and we have gotten a couple free issues since Cadence was born. Though there are some helpful articles (vacation tips, recipes, etc.) that I enjoy reading, I can no longer recommend the magazine to my friends, let alone keep a copy coming my house.
What is so disgusting? Frankly, I never saw a magazine entitled Parenting to be one that I would recommend someone go to for tips on how to pleasure there husband. Or one column in particular that encouraged couples to view pornography together! I mean really! Isn't it supposed to be about Parenting? Not to mention the fact that they are destroying their audience (the family.. or is that their audience?)
In addition, many of the articles I read brush so quickly over being a stay-at-home mom, if they touch on it at all. The magazine seems more directed towards people who are working parents.
All-in-all, the magazine is not for chaste, happily married, religious, stay-at-home moms who believe in the sanctity of marriage and the sacredness of marital intimacy (yeah..not for me).
As for the cool recipes, exercise tips, or parenting related issues, I think I can find my elsewhere.
(In case you were wondering, I made sure that Parenting knew how I felt about their magazine. I don't want to read a magazine like that, but I definitely DON'T want that kind of magazine in the society I live in either. Make a stand for values!)

So many good things...

...Aren't there just so many good things to do that sometimes it is hard to know what you should be doing? I was just thinking that looking at my blog (and how empty it is).
On the topic, I have decided to quit teaching voice and piano lessons after July. It's a great thing, and just a couple of hours a week, but it leaves me stressed on some days. I feel like I could be doing so many more good things enjoying my baby. I went back and forth trying to decide, because I really do love teaching! This week has been a real confirmation (blessing) because I have had a lot of students out of town and have really enjoyed the non-stress week with Cadence. I will continue to teach some once-in-awhile lessons (I teach voice to my brother once a month).
Someday I will take up teaching voice again. Right now, I love performing in my kitchen (while I cook or do the dishes) to my little 5 month old! He is definitely my biggest fan. He always stops what he's doing and stares at me, followed up with a huge smile at the climax of the song! I just have to stop and laugh sometimes. I tell him often that I went to school for 4 years so I could learn to sing him lullaby's. In some ways, it's very true.
Being a wife and a mother is the best part about my life. Why would anyone choose anything else? I believe that when anything gets in the way of your family, it's not really worth it. Everything should support and sustain family. Everything you do should bring family closer together. When I remember those simple things, all of the sudden it's much more clear what good things I can do without.

I have found...

...another reason the Lord tells us to multiply & replenish the earth! Thanks Erin!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-3X5hIFXYU

I need some help...

... understanding the position of this author on polygamy and how it relates to same-sex marriage. Is he against both? Yet in comparing both he seems to be promoting at times. The overall point I came across is that we do have a moral standard that should be upheld. Check it out and tell me what you think.
http://thebulletin.us/articles/2009/04/17/commentary/op-eds/doc49e7f8bdd01b1083898202.txt

I have recently discovered...

...Dr. Laura's blog! Though I don't claim to adhere to all of her beliefs or the way she handles every situation, I do find value in such a prominent figure still promoting society. So many people have stopped listening to their inner voice, distracted by the unfortunate lurings of the world. Gratefully, many are able to call and get a clue as to what their inner voice may be saying. Not unlike myself, Dr. Laura is a champion of the family. In every call, in every book, in every letter, that is her mission. Family first - always! Fixing family, one lost person at a time. I think the blog is worth checking out! Let me know what you think!

http://www.drlaurablog.com

I love...

FAMILY HISTORY! So remember how I said I am a sucker for a great family history medium? Well I realized there are a couple of reasons I have grown to love recording family history. First, I'm sad not more of my own childhood is recorded (especially when I hear my siblings talk about not remembering much). Second, I never really knew 3 out of the 4 grandparents I have here on this earth. I remember feeling pretty sad that I didn't have someone to call grandma or grandpa growing up (imagine how weird it is for me to have 3 sets through my husband, and for my son to have 2 sets of grandparents, 7 great-grandparents, and 1 great-great grandma living!). So I went on a hunt during college to discover my roots. I even ended up planning a family reunion with my cousin for my mom's side.
All of this boils down to my question for the day....what am I going to do?!?! So I let this information kinda' leak (how could I not - I am passionate!) and I have to talk in enrichment about what we can do now in our family history. Ideas anyone?!

I researched...

... different mediums of family history today. A friend got me going on the idea (I told you in the family blog I am a sucker for family history) when we were discussing the upcoming family history enrichment. I started writing down every medium I could think of for family history, and it turns out, there are quite a few I don't do! Don't worry, I was just curious. I am sure down the road it will help someone (possibly one of my children) find something they can do to contribute to their personal & family history. Here are some new or creative mediums:
1. A collage blanket (yeah! You can make 'em at snapfish.com)
2. Timelines
3. Growth chart
4. Family Song, poem, play, puppet show, etc.
5. Calendars (you can even add pictures on each day now)
6. Collectibles (pick something up the same from every vacation - like a mug, or even have a collectible plate made with a vacation picture on it)
7. Family Motto, quote, slogan
8. Family Newsletter (every writes to one person, then they all get one, or round robin: you write something and pass it to the next person until it gets back to you!)
9. Label a map or blueprint of your neighborhood, town, or house. Places you usually go or special things you remember.
10. Family coat of arms or flag

Anyway - everyone should do family history! Your posterity needs it. Plus, it's a good way to reflect on how life is going. I know I am grateful for the histories left by my ancestors. Pick something and get going!!! (Have fun)